The Kathmandu Post: Off the Cuff: Amorous Jailbirds

The Kathmandu Post, JUL 01:

Amorous jailbirds
In what appears to be a bizarre case of a lovelorn couple, a husband and wife imprisoned in the Saptari jail—Suraja Marik Dom, 37, and Chhotani Devi Marik Dom, 30—grabbed headlines after they moved the Supreme Court demanding they be allowed to live together in prison so that they would enjoy their reproductive rights. The case proves one thing for sure - no one can abstain oneself from making love for long.
The couple has a genuine concern here: They have no issue and will have no successor to carry on with their family line if they are not given a chance to conceive when they can. 
They say their right has been violated as authorities have not given them a chance to meet. 
Pity the incarcerated couple! It seems they are totally unaware of Nepal’s prison regulations. Anything can happen in this country.
On the other hand, there are privileged jailbirds in the Central Jail who get to drink, dine out, meet wives and date girlfriends, and all in the company of police personnel. Some are even found visiting massage parlours. Those having moolah are not supposed to follow prison regulations. Only recently, this scribe had a chance to click a picture of a jailbird, serving time for drug related crimes, dining out in a restaurant.
Rumour mills in the Central jail have it that one inmate’s wife has become pregnant in Bhaktapur. The ‘culprit’? None other than the husband who frequently visited the rented room of his wife, his friends claim.
They are living testaments to the fact that love and sex know no boundaries. The inmates argue that the Supreme Court should favour the couples who should be given the right to live together or meet periodically in private. The also say unmarried inmates should be able to call prostitutes. With no alternative, some prisoners start engaging in homosexual relationships. Worse, drugs, and sometimes needles and syringes, find their way inside the walls. “We have a lot of risky sexual activities... Almost every second or minute, somebody’s sneaking out and doing something,” officials say.  
“For inmates, prison life is painful. Many of them lose their spouses as they elope with other men as they find hard living without a sex partner.The central prison had hit headlines one year ago when Charles Sobhraj, the ‘Bikini Killer’, reportedly married a 20-year-old Nepali girl Nihita Biswas inside the prison.
- Bobs

PM’s lucrative business
Journalist: You have published a number of books. Are you a book freak? 
Prime Minister: Not exactly. In fact, it’s a way of documentation. You have no idea about this. 
Journalist: So you are a documentation officer?
PM: Yeah, something like that. After all, I have a long experience of working in the banking sector. I have completed B.Com with gud marks.
Journalist: But you were assigned to write the constitution...How far have you gone?
PM: Maoists barred me from doing so and I published 10 books. It’s a lucrative business…my PA lord Bisnu and the publisher made a fortune…They will give me some commission.
Journalist: Then what about the new constitution? 
PM: It’s not in my agenda. Ask comrade Jhallu and Prachanda. They were elected, I am not.   
PM: Anymore questions? I am a little busy. It’s just a short break of the inauguration function. If you have more questions, ask my Press Advisor, lord Bisnu!
Bisnu: This is only a trailer. We will come up with more books in the future. But unfortunately, the Maoists brought my boss down to his knees…
PM: (interrupting… getting excited) Finally, listen to me carefully, Abhadra Jee. All these precious documents will be translated into multi-languages… reputed publishers have shown interest in my idea. Besides, we are considering the production of more audio and video versions of my speeches and pictures, which I think will create a sensation and give food for gossip to all our idle youths. Look at my ideas…actually I wanna 
get my name registered in the Guinness Book of World Records so that Nepalis will get a reason to feel proud of 
-Abhadra Karma

Balu-Watar checklist 
If you, by the widest of luck, happen to lead this Himalayan, and of course Terrain, nation of Nepal and get to taste a life at the jumbo villa in Balu-Watar, here are a few things that should make up your checklist, for all you need is just a few things for your longest brief months.
And don’t expect to stay there longer because by the time your near and dear ones know your address you’ll have lost your mandate. After all there are a bunch of old flowers—precisely without fragrance—in the messiahs’ guise desperately waiting for their turn to get into the cozy Baluwatar cushions.
Obviously, who wouldn’t be tempted to feel the warmth that means no harm to your father’s wallet.  It’s the taxpayers,’ foolish!
By the time you find a curio encrypted “Home Sweet Home” to be hung in your kitchen hall, you’ll contract 
diabetes. Despite the researchers’ failure, the rich men’s disease can be linked to their insecurity and, of course, greed. 
Here’s your checklist: 
Daura Suruwal and Dhaka topi will do just fine and you won’t be needing other linen fineries as by the time you consider a fashion statement, you’ll find yourself making a press statement. You’ll have a plane to catch, plots to hatch, foreign deities to appease, big guys to coax, games to play, strategies to make, and when it’s sundown you wont have energy enough to slip into the gown.

Not surprisingly, this is, and only this revered attire, is your checklist; others you’ll have all your life to think what else did you enjoy from the peasants’ harvest, labourers’ sweat, wayfarers’ patience during your grand motorcade and the Martyrs’ blessings in your brief but remarkable stay.
But remember, romances are sweetest when it is not meant to last forever.
- Laughing Bhairav 

National anthem
People suddenly broke out into a roaring laughter while singing the national anthem at a function to mark the International Day against Drug and Illicit Trafficking at Basantapur Durbar Square this week.
It so happened that the host of the programme asked everybody to follow her while singing out loud the national anthem, but she herself started humming after a while.. she didn’t know the national anthem in full. The same had to be re-sung with help of an audio player playing the national anthem.
Similar was the case with CA Vice-chairman Purna Kumari Subedi at a programme at Hotel Soaltee.  Everybody stared at Subedi as she remained silent while everyone else present there sang the anthem.
Some people around there were heard talking about what Subedi learnt within the two years as the CA vice chair.
- B-Nod 

Cruel show?
Reporting an event at the Metropolitan Traffic Police Division (MTPD), this scribe recently experienced something that irritated him while at the same time greatly amusing him.
The MTPD paraded two motorcycle thieves before media persons. While this scribe was talking to a police officer, he saw two cute looking crooks, being brutally captured by the cameras.
The photo-session ended and after sometime the reporting was over. As he was just about to leave, a journo carrying a camera entered the scene, all perspiring. This scribe wondered what he would do as the programme was already over. He requested a police official to replay the whole scene again. And guess what? The cute gloomy faces were again brought out. They were made to pose with handcuffs on their hands and the journo greedily started his job.
That was really disgusting, but still - this scribe can’t lie to himself - The journo telling those victims to move the cuffed hands a bit forward was comic too.
-    Sanki

(Originally published at:

No comments:

Post a Comment

Only genuine comments please!

Most Popular Posts