By - George Kunnath*
"You are not a human being in search of a spiritual experience. You are a spiritual being immersed in a human experience." - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
Introduction
Knowing oneself and finding stillness within are two themes that emerge in every religion and spiritual practices across the globe. Know thyself in Greece, Tatvam Asi and Aham Brahmasmi in Hinduism, Inclusivity and unity of consciousness in Tantra, the Way in Tao, Kingdom God within you in Christianity, knowing oneself is knowing divine in Sufism are all pointing to inner journey and stillness.
However, most organized religions and spiritual traditions have created doctrines, dogmas, rigid structures and rituals and institutionalised punitive sanctions attributed to God. There is very little scope left for deep inner quest and true liberation as the leaders of these religions who are drunk on power do not wish to see truly liberated and enlightened people.
What is spirituality for me?
Spirituality is about me, my inner journey and some greater force beyond me. In the beginning I am all centred around myself and I revolve around myself. I want to be loved, accepted and appreciated. I want to be important.
Initially, I was unaware of the disconnect within me though the feeling of disconnect automated my life. Despite recognising the disconnect within, I avoided looking deep within to find the source of the disconnect. I went around looking for connections outside in making friends, social activities, sexual relations, making money, seeking achievements, acquiring possessions – material and non-material (knowledge and skills).
A crisis of some sort happened and I was shaken and even shattered. I picked up the shattered pieces and looked at them and realized that the brokenness was inside me. The crisis that happened was a mirror reflection of my inner state of being.
I began a new search for causes and solutions for the disconnect. I looked for answers in books and learned concepts and thrived on them. I sought out therapists and spiritual masters for finding solution. In the beginning, I asked the therapist and spiritual master to provide me answers to my life's questions. Sooner or later, I realized that nobody can give me answers for my life. I needed to find the answers within me. I am the only one who can find the purpose of my life. I also realized that all the concepts and knowledge I gathered over a life-time have got to go, everything needs to die and drop the stories from past life before I can find the door to the innermost. It was hard to give up all that I had held so dearly. I resisted, hesitated and at last gave in. I surrendered to the Great Force. I came closer to the entrance to the innermost. I was tested again and again for my readiness to enter the sanctum within. At last, I found the door to the innermost. I entered it and realized how simple everything is. Initially there was an illusion that I have arrived but soon I realized that there is no final point of arrival. Living from the innermost is an ongoing process, ever evolving from moment to moment.
Along the path of the inner journey, I was asked to renounce all that was dear and important to me. I asked why, but no answers came. Then I asked the question differently: "What stops me from giving up those things – both material and non-material? Then answers came flowing. I had to examine my need for security, power, self-esteem, relationships and let them all go. It was like death. That was only the beginning for deeper quest. I had to confront many deep feelings – being abandoned, not loved, homelessness and deep loneliness. Once confronted, these feelings and deeper layers of trauma within me opened up for healing. I had experienced an existential crisis at birth – a struggle between life and death. However, I had fought this trauma all my life until a few years ago when I came face to face with a wounded half dead baby. I recognized this baby as me and embraced it wholly. It was the beginning of the end of war with myself. It was a major battle among the many. Then peace began to grow within me. I became connected with a deep painful memory which I had avoided all my life. This recognition and embracing of the wounded baby with all the pain and trauma enabled my wholeness.
There were other battles I needed to deal with. The fear of being abandoned, the fear of my own power, fear of uncertainty and taboos around sexuality. One by one I made peace with them all. Then came an invitation to the innermost. As I followed the invitation to the innermost, I realized the secret of life, the Great Emptiness, a magnificent state of being. I lacked nothing anymore. I received the greatest gift of my life. I am no more the same dismembered, disconnected self of the past. I am whole.
I experience a deep sense of detachment, equanimity, peace and freedom. I have dropped the past baggage and I am at peace with the uncertainty of the future. I live now. I stand alone with my full power without the need for anyone's permission or approval. I am ready to show my deep vulnerability. My heart is filled with love, gratitude and compassion. At last, I have come home within myself.
How does spirituality manifest in everyday life?
When lived with awareness, every moment of my life is a spiritual experience. I look at nature and wonder at the splendour. I experience a sense of togetherness, a oneness without the feeling of any separation with everything in the universe. I feel one with everything. I look at my thoughts, my feelings, my words and my actions and I ask myself, what kind of vibrations am I generating and what kind of energy am I emitting?
In everyday life I experience spirituality through my awakened senses. My eyes become a conduit to the experience, through the innumerable sights that appear before them – the colours, shapes, sizes, landscapes, oceans and waterbodies, mountains, plains, the skies and the galaxies. My ears and my body respond to innumerable sounds and melodies providing me a spiritual experience. My nostrils have a distinct ability to get me immersed into exotic fragrances and obnoxious odours which give a transformational quality. These transformations are continually facilitating a spiritual experience. My taste buds along with the olfactory senses distinguish and appreciate food and drink in such a way that I am transported into other worldly realms. My skin senses the surroundings and gives me a sensual experience.
Beyond the realms of the obvious senses, I experience a deep energetic connect with everything. In the vast expanse of this energetic plane is the realm of the spirit I float, swim and fly without the intervention of my external senses. I experience absolute stillness in this state of being without the senses and without the mind. This state is called the Great Void, Emptiness or Shunya. It is where eyes, ears, nose, skin and tongue have no place in the perceptual process. The mind too is absolutely still.
When I have learned and mastered the art of being still at every moment, I am ready for a spiritual experience in every activity, every event, every entity at each and every moment. Spirituality is about meeting myself deep within, in the innermost, in the Great Void and finding my life purpose and meaning.
Shamanic approach is connecting with every entity in the universe, and tantric way of life emphasises inclusivity and unity of consciousness. Both Shamanic and Tantric way of life have a lot in common. Respecting every entity in the universe and feeling compassion for beings – human and non-human are embedded values in tantra and shamanism. It is when I am connected with everything within and outside, I treat everyone and everything with respect and recognise the sacredness in everything. Only an approach including everything and excluding end the war within and without. All wars are inner wars projected and found outside. Lasting peace can never be achieved unless each of us end our wars within. Love and compassion arises in the heart when all wars end and peace emerges. Competition gives way to collaboration and communities of loving and caring people emerges.
Living from the innermost is a constant communion within and without with no separation of any kind. In this state of being I have experienced a boundless expanse of pure energy. The entire cosmos is limitless vibrational energy. Being in this state of being calls for an unconditional surrender.
Surrendering is letting go of my ego
Not holding on to anything
Being in the now
With all ideas and concepts
Dissolved into nothingness
No thoughts, no feelings
No past, no future
Only thing is now, the present
Everything being transient
From moment to moment
Life goes on infinitely
Surrendering before another
Without any fear of being consumed
Feeling no need to control or controlled
Being in the now the way I am
No labels, no status or position
Such a moment of surrender
Brings infinite joy and peace
For I have nothing to prove
Neither am I seeking love nor giving love
But just being in love in the moment
There are no expectations
There is no agenda
It is all about being in the present
Being with the other in total attention
It is not surrender to the other
It is surrender with the other
Being one with the other
Burning and melting together
And merging with the whole
In this moment of oneness
There is no separation of any kind
No male or female
No superior or inferior
Polarities dissolving
Everything is one and whole
Such moment of oneness
Abides deep in my heart
In one great cosmic heart
My spirituality is beyond religions, isms, concepts, theories, doctrines and dogmas. My relationship with the Ultimate truth I have found within me and I experience this truth all around me.
"Be Still and Know that I am God" Psalm 46:10
*George Kunnath facilitates inner exploration retreats for seekers to heal themselves, to discover their true essence and purpose and going towards finding the ultimate truth. He is in the process of building an alternative community with like-minded people based on mutual respect, love, compassion and selfless caring for one another and the cosmos.
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