Perfect match

Dr Ujjwal Bikram Khadka

I have always wondered and never quite understood the mystery that makes a relationship between a man and a woman work. Man has always wandered in pursuit of happiness not knowing whom to and where to turn to, only driven by a deep aching need of fulfillment.

How many times have we seen that two people after getting married remember the day when they first met and discover that they had exactly the same feelings towards each other. Moreover, many couples after getting married realize that they are similar on various grounds, same kinds of tastes in food, music, actors, similar attitudes and behaviors towards everyday ordeals of life. However, one cannot guarantee marital success or success in relationships on mere sharing of certain views alone.

Well, I think, the deepest void can only be filled by knowing your true self. In this era, when worldly accomplishments and instant gratification are sole motto, man has lost touch with himself. I am not going to make some foolish statements like "you are enough alone", but I think the deepest longing is for God himself. As somebody rightly said Man is a journey from animal to God, the supreme consciousness, we are stuck in the middle and hence discontented.

You are wounded because you are separated from yourself, your true self, your inner being. Spend few moments each day in silence, meditating and simply being , not repenting the past or groping in future. It will heal you immensely. You will also realize that you are already fulfilled, you don't need to wander; you only need to realize or perhaps remember. This is not an intellectual concept. You cannot rationalize. As poet Rumi rightly said, "Love is the sea where intellect drowns". You needn't calculate in love as a modern mind is conditioned to. You simply allow utter serenity to permeate your being. You are all that you need to be this very moment. What would you trade your eyes, ears, senses, ability to appreciate beauty, individuality and freedom to choose, the very essence of being a human for? You simply aren't attentive enough; you need to attune yourself to nature. You simply forgot how to live.

After healing your deepest wounds you are truly fulfilled .Now you are ready to share. So the very idea of trying to change the other is wrong. Everything appears random on the surface but, remember: at a deeper level everything is organized.

Now that you have changed yourself, you can see your beloved as a mirror of your higher self. Now you can surrender to love. Devote each day to achieving true union and healing the wounds of separation. It doesn't matter in how many ways you differ from your partner, you have found your perfect match.

You can rejoice in ecstasy, in love, in holding hands, in seeing each other, in little caresses and courtesies; you'll be fulfilling your deepest desires; you'll be loving and serving God himself. (TKP, March 18, 2007)

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