Teenage problems

By SUVECHCHHA POUDEL

For hours she whispers on the telephone to someone who she claims is " just a friend". She is absentminded and you can often see her staring into space with a contented smile upon her face. She is in the throes of her first crush!

To have the capacity to feel a crush for someone is the first greatest discovery of being an adolescent. That is the time when teenagers' room is filled with posters of handsome and beautiful stars.

The beginning of a crush is often marked by a total enslaving of the " fan" towards a very distant object of adoration which is not reality but more of a dream.  nybody who does not have a crush on any movie star or rock star during her adolescence can possibly have a stunted psychological and emotional growth, say psychologists. This crush can be even toward someone seen fleetingly and never ever seen again. But that person seems to be the epitome of everything that is perfect in every way! It can also be a college mate whom a teenager does not dare to approach because he or she is so unattainable.

It is noticed that children who do not go through this stage of crushes during any stage of their childhood or adolescence grow up to be antisocial and emotionally underdeveloped. This is due to the fact that they do not want to allow themselves to get attached to someone, even if he or she is someone totally unattainable. So when they have to start relationships with " real life" people, they find it difficult to communicate and open up in a normal way.

It is usually at the age of 15 or 16 years that a teenager decides to do something about the newly found emotions and dream of love for someone other than his parents and family. It is this love which will allow her to move away from the secure cocoon for family life and affection while being assured of a reassuring transition to adulthood.

The idea of a boyfriend or a girlfriend has never been part of the Oriental tradition, but as life expectancy in the medieval ages was very low, child marriages were the norm. However, thanks to the superimposition of Western culture and beliefs on us through books and the cable TV, it is not unusual to see parents of schoolchildren teasing them about their boyfriends and girlfriends.

At this age, which is romantic beyond comparison, girls normally dream of love at first sight or a romantic strike of lightning. It is usually someone older whom they believe is the love of their life. Making a mockery of her emotions is going to make your teenager rebel with the age-old cry of, 'you don't understand me! What do parents know about love?"

In searching for the love of her life, an adolescent passes through the stage of being enamoured by many specimens! You can call first loves, firework - intense and burning red-hot but without any substance.

Everybody knows that being a parent is not easy, especially when your girl is entering teenage. The teenage years are the age when a teenage girl gets in touch with her emotions. A parent should nurture the child with care without negating her feeling. If not, they will always regret the fact that their child does not trust them anymore. (TKP, March 13, 2007)